Marriage and Family

A marriage is considered the alliance of two families and most Beninese attach considerable importance to traditional marriage customs, which vary widely. Christians and Muslims mix their respective customs with local ways. Older women from the bride’s family preside over a ceremony at which they accept the groom’s gifts and officially agree to the marriage. This bride-price—which legislation has sought to discourage—and the cost of a proper wedding can be so high that the wedding might be postponed for months or years until sufficient finances are available. In such cases, couples may live together and have children as if married.

Although nuclear families have become increasingly common in urban areas, in rural areas most people still adhere to the traditional way of life, whereby the extended family lives in a compound of separate houses surrounded by a wall or fence and having a common courtyard with a well, space for animals, and a cooking area. The principles of tolerance and mutual support underlie the life of the extended family, whose members expect to work together and share the products of their labor. It is considered a curse to have bad relations within the family unit. The trend away from the traditional family structure and the principle of mutual support in cities has given rise to some social conflict as members of the extended family have found that they can no longer expect to share in the success of other family members.

Polygamy is legal but not widely practiced. Men in northern areas are more likely to have two wives than men in southern areas. The father is head of the family, but women do much of the work—raising children, farming, and trading—for which they are greatly respected. Elderly women are held in especially high regard. Most families have several children and parents are keen to have at least one son to perpetuate the family name.

Eating

The Beninese prefer hot and spicy foods. The basic daily meal in the south is a spicy stew eaten with a stiff porridge made from maize flour (wo, amiwo). Yam flour (amala or loubo) is used in Yoruba areas, and millet and sorghum flour are used in the north. Side dishes are pounded yam, fried or boiled yam and cassava, sweet potatoes, and fried bananas and garri, a kind of grits made from cassava. Garri is also eaten with any kind of stew or soup, or it is thinned and drunk like a porridge with sugar or milk. Boiled in water, garri can also be served as a side dish (called eba) eaten with stew. Beans are popular and more and more people are eating rice, which is mostly imported. Beninese stews can have many ingredients, such as vegetables and leaves, okra, groundnuts, and palm-nut pulp.

The Beninese eat a variety of tropical fruits (bananas, mangoes, oranges, pawpaws, avocados, tangerines, and pineapples) and snacks in the morning or late afternoon. Meat is saved for special occasions because it is expensive; favorite types include chicken, goat, beef, and a special delicacy, sugarcane rat. Almost every part of the animal is eaten. French cuisine is found in urban areas. Fresh seafood is plentiful in the south.

In rural areas of Benin, farm workers eat anytime in the morning, often in the fields. They have lunch at home later in the afternoon and dinner at night. Wage earners may have one, two, or three meals a day, depending on their means. In urban areas, people often have breakfast between 7 and 10 am, lunch between 1 and 3 pm, and dinner between 7 and 10 pm. Spoons and other utensils may be used for some foods, but the hand is generally preferred, especially for okra or pounded yam. At home, people eat from a common bowl (children share one and parents share another). The father is usually served first, and families eat together. In northern areas, however, when male guests are present, the wife eats separately.

Socializing

A proper greeting always precedes conversation. Men usually shake right hands, with the oldest person initiating the handshake. Women shake hands with men only if the man offers his hand. To show special respect, particularly to an older person, one bows slightly and grasps one’s right elbow with the left hand during a handshake. In cities, young men snap fingers when they shake hands. Many urban relatives and friends kiss three or four times alternately on the cheeks. In rural areas, some people do this and add a kiss to the mouth.

The Fon ask A fon dagbe a? (“Did you wake up well?”), while the Yoruba say E Karo (“Good morning”). Similar expressions are used in other languages throughout Benin. People of the same age and status use first names or nicknames when addressing each other. Titles are reserved for official functions. It is disrespectful to call older people by their first names. Instead, one uses “Brother” or “Sister” (Fofo or Dada among the Fon) and “Uncle” or “Aunt.” If the eldest child is named Dossa, for example, parents are often called Dossanon (“Dossa’s mother”) or Dossato (“Dossa’s father”).

Public displays of affection are unacceptable, but friends of the same sex often hold hands or touch when talking or walking. Showing respect for elders is important. One does not interrupt an older person in conversation, nor does one talk to him or her with hands in one’s pockets or while wearing a hat. Avoiding eye contact shows deference to elders.

Visiting friends and relatives is regarded as considerate, and it is not necessary to notify them in advance. Visitors are warmly welcomed and offered at least water to drink. The host may take a sip before offering it to guests, and in rural areas guests often spill a bit on the earth to show respect for the dead.

If visitors arrive during a meal, hosts feel obligated to offer some food. While it is rude not to at least taste the food, visitors can politely decline to eat the entire meal. Visitors ask for permission to leave; when the host agrees, the guest is escorted to the door and sometimes further. Reciprocity is an important part of relationships, so today’s guest is expected to be tomorrow’s host.

While most socializing takes place in the home, the marketplace is also a popular point of social contact. Every town or village has a market day once a week or so where people enjoy meeting to chat.

Recreation

Beninese enjoy visiting with each other and this is a major form of recreation. Many social events are closely related to family or religious ceremonies. People also enjoy soccer and other sports such as basketball, handball, and boxing. Wrestling is popular in the north. Televisions are scarce, but people usually have access to one somewhere in the village, and large groups often get together to watch popular programs or soccer matches. Few people can afford to go to a restaurant or to go on beach outings. The Beninese enjoy playing cards, checkers, or adji (a popular probability game) outdoors. Traditional dancing to drums is popular.

Holidays and Celebrations

The Beninese celebrate the New Year on 1 January. Easter Monday, the Monday that follows Easter Sunday, is officially a holiday. International Workers’ Day is observed on 1 May. Benin’s independence from France in 1960 is celebrated on 1 August, and National Day (30 November) is a public holiday. Christmas (25 December) is also celebrated.

The two most important Muslim holidays, whose dates are reckoned by the lunar calendar and thus vary from year to year, are Odun Idi and Odun Lea. Odun Idi is a feast indulged in at the end of the month-long fast of Ramadan. Odun Lea, the Muslim Feast of Sacrifice, commemorates Abraham’s willingness to sacrifice his son at Allah’s command. In addition to these holidays, local celebrations are held in rural areas throughout the year.

Source: Encarta Interactive World Atlas

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