Even though Globalization affects the world’s economics in a very positive way, its negative sides should not be forgotten. Discuss.

Everything has {tooltip}tow{end-link}two{end-tooltip} sides in the world, and so has the {tooltip}prosses{end-link}process{end-tooltip} of globalization {tooltip}too{end-link}remove this word{end-tooltip}. The effects of globalization on the world economy are {tooltip}diverted{end-link}diverse{end-tooltip}.

We must acknowledge that the negative effects are from a different kind than the positive ones.{tooltip}Therfor{end-link}Therefore{end-tooltip} the negative sides, like low {tooltip}paiment{end-link}wages{end-tooltip} in less developed countries are important to {tooltip}conciderate{end-link}consider{end-tooltip}.

If we take the Eurozone for example, the economic changes {tooltip}according to{end-link}caused by{end-tooltip} the {tooltip}gloablisation{end-link}globalization{end-tooltip} process are huge. Many companies have transferred their factories into cheaper production {tooltip}earies{end-link}areas{end-tooltip} to {tooltip}compeat{end-link}compete{end-tooltip} in the world {tooltip}markes{end-link}markets{end-tooltip}. The results are rising unemployment rates in the “old industrial countries”.

In regard to the other countries on the world market, such as China, this job transfer is a big opportunity. But no one can {tooltip}denie{end-link}deny{end-tooltip} that the consequences for the less developed countries where economy flourished, based on availability of cheap employees are highly important: globalization based on this facts brings {tooltip}enviromantal{end-link}environmental{end-tooltip} problems.

Nevertheless, there are also {tooltip}posive reasons for globlaistaional effects{end-link}positive effects to globalization{end-tooltip}. In general it is remarkable that there is a new tendency in “Thinking Global”. For instance, people are willing to {tooltip}leran{end-link}learn{end-tooltip} more languages and get educated about {tooltip}othe{end-link}other{end-tooltip} cultures. Countries {tooltip}fromaly knowen{end-link}formally known{end-tooltip} as undeveloped, such as India, are getting chances to be the {tooltip}main leader{end-link}leader{end-tooltip} in a certain field.

All in all it can be said that the effects of globalization are enormous. The {tooltip}unerstanding{end-link}understanding{end-tooltip} of economic processes has changed completely. It is important to think in bigger terms, not just about the {tooltip}owen{end-link}person's own{end-tooltip} country. The positive things that this globalization process have brought {tooltip}must sensible{end-link}must compensate{end-tooltip} us for the negative sides. The {tooltip}all over aim{end-link}overall aim{end-tooltip} should be a world in balance, but this has yet to come.

This essay needs work. There are multiple spelling errors and unclear expressions (see comments underlined in blue). Also there are many words that are formed incorrectly (diverted instead of diverse, etc). There are too many paragraphs, all you need is 4 – 5 well-structured paragraphs, not 7 poorly structured ones. On the bright side, the task is covered and there are enough words (275), which is good. The paragraphs are logically connected and the linking words are used effectively. Overall, this looks like a Band 6 essay.

Source: ielts-blog.com

Twitter