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IELTS Report, topic: bar graph of water usage

The graph below shows the annual water usage (in millions of cubic meters) by industries in Somecountry. Write a report for a university tutor describing the information shown.

You should write at least 150 words.

The {tooltip}bargraph{end-link}bar graph{end-tooltip} describes the water usage for every year in Somecountry in millions of cubic meters.

{tooltip}The water{end-link}This sentence belongs in the first paragraph{end-tooltip} usage {tooltip}are{end-link}is{end-tooltip} shown by two {tooltip}trends{end-link}sources of water{end-tooltip}, ground water and public supply. Fuel and textiles are the ones that use the least water, 10 of public supply and {tooltip}70 and 80{end-link}It is not clear who uses 70 and who 80, and also you didn't mentioned the units (millions of cubic meters){end-tooltip} of ground water. Machinery {tooltip}are{end-link}is{end-tooltip} just the opposite of these two and {tooltip}has{end-link}consumes{end-tooltip} 10 of ground water and 100 of public supply.

Food/drinks, metal, paper and chemicals {tooltip}are all{end-link}all use{end-tooltip} over 100 of ground water where chemicals peaks at {tooltip}dramaticlly{end-link}dramatically high level of{end-tooltip} 430. The highest figure of water usage of public supply also belongs to chemicals (240). Next on the list is food/drinks with 190, the others are under 100.

Overall, the chemical industry uses a lot more water than the rest of the industries in terms of both ground water and public supplies, and in general, most industries use ground water by far more than public supply.

This is a good report, the trends are correctly noticed. Suggested improvements: use units in addition to numbers (10 of what? Millions of cubic meters). Use more connective words to smoothly move from one paragraph to another. Pay attention to grammar, see comments.

Source: ielts-blog.com